Affirmation

This morning, right before the service I heard some sad news about some friends of my brother and SIL's. When couples split and it's not a mutual decision, it is gut wrenching and awful. That means I started the service out with kind of a lump in my stomach. Then the lump grew when I looked at the bulletin and saw what the sermon topic today was. GREAT. It was Sodom and Gomorrah. That's always fun filled and joyful! Lucky for me, God is amazingly good and had set up a provision for the lump in my stomach. There was a quote placed towards the end of our sermon notes and when it was read, I felt just this huge wave of peace affirmation wash over me and remove that lump in my stomach.

"If lost sinners will not hear you speak, they cannot prevent your praying. Do they jest at your exhortations? They cannot disturb your prayers. Are they away so you cannot reach them? Your prayers can reach them. Have they declared that they will never listen to you again, nor see your face? Never mind, God has a voice which they must hear. Speak to Him, and He will make them feel. Though they now treat you despitefully, rendering evil for your good, follow them with your prayers. Never let them perish for lack of your supplications." -Charles Spurgeon

* yawn *

Y'all, I'm tired. Physically. I am just exhausted. I have been all week. Its bizarre. Maybe its sympathy for Eryn, or maybe it's just my hormones, but I feel like I'm pregnant! I have cramps and pains in the right places, I'm just tired all the time, and I want to eat everything. Don't start thinking anything - we all know where babies come from and that isn't happenin' for this lady right now. I have a meeting on Tuesday to hopefully get Medicaid. If I get Medicaid, then I can go see a doctor about this weirdness! Wouldn't that be amazing?!

I'm probably not going to blog about extensively about the wedding since it's been a week and no longer feels all that fresh. Sorry, I know you're crushed. Feel free to ask if you really want to know. Basically, we had an amazing time. Everything was beautiful. The DJ was AWFUL and complaints have been filed about him (I mean, he violated the contract, ignored the timeline we gave him 2 months ago which means things got left out, and then had the balls to wait until the morning of the wedding to get the music together so he called Bunny at 10am ON HER WEDDING DAY to tell her there was a problem with the song she and Silver Fox had selected for their 1st dance! WAY unprofessional, pal.) Our airbrush tans looked so gross at the rehearsal but after we'd all gotten to shower and the color had set, we looked bronze and fantastic for the wedding. Pictures will be posted to facebook in the next day or so, so I'll swipe some and post them here for your viewing pleasure.

I've spent the vast majority of my week either passed out, taking care of my dad, or up at the hospital with Mom. Her surgery on Monday went well, she was moved to the rehab hospital on Thursday night, and she's looking at being released on either April 2nd or 3rd. I'm personally hoping it's either the 2nd or before noon on the 3rd, since I'm heading to the Woodlands on the 3rd for our Alpha Holy Spirit Retreat (more about that in a minute). I have to leave Katy between 4 and 4:30 at the latest, so that could be cutting it VERY close!

The Alpha Retreat. God has HUGE things planned for that weekend, and I'm pretty stoked. I mean, He's already shown me so much this far in the course, and that weekend is pretty intense. I had lunch with Kristen (the Alpha Coordinator for our church) on Wednesday to get filled in on all the leader roles and info about it, and I must admit, I'm overwhelmed a little. I've been praying that God would give me the confidence to not let me let myself get in His way, for me to focus on being open and letting the Spirit move through me as opposed to get nervous about praying the right things or having the right words, etc.

And with that, I'm gonna take a nap for a little bit before I make dinner for my dad. I told you I'm tired.

quick update before I fall over

This weekend was FANTASTIC. It was not in any way, shape, or form restful, but it was so much fun. There will probably be pictures at some point, but not today. I got home from Dallas at about 4:30 this morning. I had Mom at the hospital around noon today for her knee replacement surgery. The case before her had some complications so she didn't get wheeled into surgery until about 3:45. At 8:55 tonight, they wheeled her into her home for the next 2-3 days, a room up on the top floor! I finally got home a little after 9:30. Needless to say, I am WIPED. I'll do a better update later.

Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs., Silver Fox and Bunny! I love you!

dum dum da dum

I can't believe it's finally time! At 6pm on Saturday, the wedding of Bunny and Dave will begin. Well, I mean, that's what the schedule says, but we all know how that works... lol She told me tonight it hasn't quite hit her yet. That's totally how she is, though, so I'm not surprised. It'll hit her tomorrow when I get there, or at the very latest Friday when EVERYONE gets there.

I'd appreciate a few extra prayers this weekend, if you wouldn't mind. Pray for Bunny's stress, that this goes as smoothly as possible (because no wedding is perfect!). Also, lately I've been extremely sensative and easily weepy (especially if I have any amount of alcohol in my system. I'm blaming that on my insane hormone imbalance that I will hopefully get to see a doctor about soon... that's another post entirely, though.) Being in proximity to D has an unpleasant effect on me. Pray for my strength, and that God would help me to guard my heart. When I get back on Sunday, there's no time to breathe. My mom is having a full knee replacement on Monday morning. Oh yea, would you keep that in your prayers, too?

GOSH! I'm so needy today! lol Y'all are the best and I'm blessed by you!

forget chicken soup... CHAI for the soul!

For those of you who live in Texas, you may have noticed that the weather has turned to GROSS this week. It is cold. It is wet. It is suck.

Yesterday, I picked up Jackson, Dallas, and Monica from school. They were running through the house like wild animals (because that's what kids do on rainy days) and I put a mug of water in the microwave to heat up. Jackson (who is 10) came in and said, "What are you cooking?" I said, "A cup of tea." He said something to the effect of "old ladies drink tea."

If only old ladies drink tea, then bring on the Geritol!

Yunno, Jesus was a carpenter...

I've been furiously working on refinishing my old canopy bed for my sweet niece Natters. I big time underestimated how much it was going to suck to sand that puppy down. My hands feel like shark skin. My nails are scratched up. I feel gritty, but not in the cutting edge tv-drama kind of way. Admittedly, though, while I was sitting out on the back porch, enjoying the beautiful days (before the storms and cold fronts arrived last night/this morning) sanding away on that bed frame, I TOTALLY thought to myself, "Yunno, the Bible says all work is work for Him, and Jesus was a carpenter, so I really DO feel like I'm doing work for Him..." It's okay, I absolutely cracked up afterwards. Today we painted. Unfortunately, I did not get my painting skills from my mother, so there's stuff that needs to be resanded and repainted because, bless her cotton socks she tried. Annoying, but hey, crap happens.


In other news...
I'm SO excited about Bunny's wedding next week! We had her bachelorette party over the weekend and I was reminded, yet again, how fantastic my cousins are. We went out to dinner at Chuy's then had an out of control slumber party at Renee's house up in Magnolia. We laughed. We cried (okay, I cried.). We ate bacon. FLAME ON! I'm heading up on Thursday afternoon and will be there thru Sunday afternoon. I took my dress to get it hemmed and have the boob pads removed (seriously. Who put those in there? What is that?!). Bunny told me a story earlier tonight about how Dave called her this morning and said, "I'm so excited that I'm marrying you in 11 days. I have to get back to work now, I just wanted to call and tell you that." That is AWESOME. I remember how it feels to be loved like that, and I love how much they love each other. Oh no... I think I'm gonna rewrite my toast again. I've been through like 8 versions so far. I want it to be perfect!

Although I'm going up for the wedding, I'm pretty excited to go out on Thursday and Friday nights with my Dallas peeps. I even got a cute new dress for the occasion! Oh who am I kidding. We all know I'm just gonna want to go to the Saucer. lol


Finally, some extra lovin' for my Dallas girls who aren't Bunny.
Megan: congratulations on your engagement. I'm excited to be your Matron of Honor, but I might kill you in the process...
Christina: how did I live before you?
Whitifer: God is good, all the time. Trust Him and seek His will. You can't go wrong if you do.
Jen Jen: I'm still waiting for preggo belly pictures. Put some ketchup on it, okay?

3 years of not so holy matrimony

On March 4, 2006, I walked down the aisle at Grace Fellowship United Methodist Church on my father's arm, my cheeks hurting so bad from my huge grin, ridiculously excited to get to the end and marry the man waiting there for me, with an equally huge grin on his face. We promised to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of our lives. It was FANTASTIC.

Fast forward to 3 years later, and well, you know where we stand.

First of all, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you to every single one of you who has uttered a prayer for Denver, me, or our marriage. Its not like he responded to my text today wishing him a happy anniversary, but its not like I expected him to. Things haven't really changed between us, which isn't a bad thing necessarily. What's that old saying, "no news is good news"? I'm not sure if its so much that as that every day that goes by that I don't get served with divorce papers is one more day that God has given me to be Denver's wife. The way I see it, either there's something coming that is HUGE and 100% God-worked or He knows that I'm still not ready to go through it and so He's putting distractions in Denver's life to keep him from filing. Denver's not exactly the most quick-to-act guy out there, so the fact that he's been telling me for a year that he wants a divorce doesn't exactly say much. Wanting a divorce and actually filing for one are not the same thing. However small that chance is, it's still there. And given the fact that I still love my husband and have strong desire to honor my vows to him, that's the chance I'm looking at. That being said, let's talk about some blessings and awesome God activity in my life, shall we?

Have I told you lately that I love you? No? Well, my bad. I have the greatest people in my life. Seriously. God really pulled out all the stops when He gave me friends. Some people have quantity. Other people have quality. A truly blessed few like me have both. Its kind of ridiculous sometimes how amazing y'all are. The way you love me, support me, entertain me, and understand me blows my mind. Thanks for that.

Last night at Alpha, the topic was prayer. I love love love the speaker. Her daughter is one of my Sunday school kiddos, and their family is just precious. She spoke about the basis of prayer being faith. "Without faith, we're just talkin' to ourselves!" Because I have FAITH, I know that my prayers are heard by the Creator of the stinkin' universe. YES. She also spoke about how there's power in persistence and numbers. That's so true. And that is why I thank y'all so so much for all the prayers you've prayed for us. She also spoke about how the answer to a lot of prayers is "Wait." Y'all, that was a HUGE affirmation for me. I mean, she illustrated about how sometimes it takes time to get to where God wants your heart in prayer by talking about Jesus in the garden begging God to change things if there was another way before He finally came to terms with God's will. I've thought many many times that the answer to my prayers about reconciliation and healing was no. But God faithfully nudged me back to "WAIT." Getting that reminder wrapped in a package of "grow your faith and pray without ceasing" was a perfectly timed moment for me. He knows when I need reminders and when I need a little extra fuel for a fight ahead. Today was set to be a battle, and my Lord strengthened me for it. HE IS SO COOL!!

One of the big questions that almost every seeker and/or non-believer ask of Christians is some variation of, "If God loves you, why does He let bad things happen to good people?" Well, the answer is a lot more simple than they think. Its for one or all of the following: to take us away from a bad situation or behavior, to teach us something and help us grow, or to prepare us to help someone else through a similar situation. Scripture tells us that all things work together for the glory of the Lord, so it makes perfect sense. It's become more and more clear to me since I've been down in Katy that God has plans bigger than me for my being here, that there are things He has intended for me through this. Last Spring, I read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. He discussed this "why do bad things happen" topic at great length. The part about it preparing us to help someone else through a similar situation really spoke to my heart. I never ever in a million years would have guessed that God would have planned for me to use my situation this soon. I'm still going through it! However, His timing and wisdom are perfect. I am getting to know 2 amazing women who are facing similar trials to my own but they do not have the advantage I do of knowing the Lord intimately. I may have mentioned them before, that they are from my Alpha group, and I already know that I love them deeply. They are amazing and special and have beautiful hearts. I'm honored to share my faith and my struggle with them, and I'm blessed beyond belief by my Jesus.

So yea. Today could have so very easily turned into a disgusting pity party. Instead, God gave me some awesome love and blessings and rocked my world.